Below is a comprehensive list of emotional needs (with several social needs integrated). These needs are informed by research in psychology and models such as Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and Self-Determination Theory. Naturally, additional needs exist. This list is intended as a foundation for self-exploration and for articulating personal needs, and you may wish to add other needs that are relevant to you.
Emotional needs (internal, personal)
Emotional safety – A sense of stability and knowing that I am not in emotional or psychological danger.
Self-acceptance – Feeling whole with myself, without the need to hide parts of who I am.
Validation – Knowing that my thoughts and feelings are understood and legitimate.
Sense of self-worth – Feeling valuable and meaningful, knowing that I matter.
Self-love – Loving myself as I am, without conditions.
Self-respect – Feeling respected and worthy of respectful treatment.
Self-expression – The ability to share and express feelings, thoughts, and opinions without fear.
Self-control – A sense that I have control over myself, my emotions, and my behavior.
Emotional freedom – The ability to feel and express the full range of emotions without judgment.
Meaning and purpose – Knowing that my life has meaning beyond daily routines. This meaning may be given, discovered within ourselves, or actively chosen, depending on one’s belief system.
Inner clarity – Understanding myself, knowing what I want and what is right for me.
Inner calm – A sense of inner peace and freedom from constant tension.
Self-trust and competence – Believing in myself and my abilities, trusting my decisions.
Emotional courage – The ability to face fears and act despite them.
Spontaneity and playfulness – The capacity to experience lightness and joy without overthinking or worry.
Personal growth – Feeling that I am developing, learning, and improving over time.
Freedom of choice – Knowing that I have the ability to choose my path in life.
Variety and change – Not feeling stuck in routine, experiencing new and stimulating experiences.
Self-compassion – The ability to be kind and forgiving toward myself, rather than harshly self-critical.
Fulfillment and realization – A sense that I am living up to my potential and expressing myself fully.
Self-awareness – The ability to understand what I am feeling and why, and to stay connected to myself.
Excitement and enthusiasm – Experiences that spark passion and emotional energy.
Emotional balance – The ability to experience emotions without being overwhelmed or overtaken by them.
Hope and optimism – Belief that the future can be positive and that there is something to look forward to.
Authenticity – The ability to be who I truly am, without masks or constant self-adjustment to others.
Patience and acceptance of process – Allowing emotional processes to unfold at their own pace, without rushing them.
Emotional healing – The need to process and release past emotional wounds.
Social self-confidence – The ability to be around others without excessive anxiety or discomfort.
Presence in the moment (mindfulness) – Being engaged in the present rather than preoccupied with the past or future.
Connection to intuition – Trusting my inner sense when making decisions and navigating life.
Emotional-social needs (related to others and relationships)
Love and emotional closeness – Being in a deep and intimate emotional connection with another person.
Belonging – Feeling part of something, such as a family, community, or supportive group.
Emotional support – Knowing that someone is there for me and truly listens.
Recognition and appreciation – Receiving positive feedback for who I am or what I do.
Freedom to be myself around others – Feeling that I do not need to wear a “mask” in social situations.
Honesty and transparency in relationships – Knowing that people close to me communicate openly and sincerely.
Trust in relationships – Feeling safe relying on people who are close to me.
Harmony and balance in connections – Relationships with a healthy balance between giving and receiving.
Ability to rely on others – Knowing that I am not alone and that it is acceptable to ask for help.
Connection and shared experiences – The ability to share meaningful moments and experiences with others.
How to use this list
Review the list and notice which needs resonate with you most strongly.
Mark needs that recur repeatedly, as these are likely unmet needs.
When a strong emotion arises, try to link it to one of these needs and identify what may be missing for you in that moment.
Use these needs to communicate more effectively with others. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” you might say, “I feel a need for being heard and understood.”
Our emotional needs function like an inner compass. When we identify and understand them, we can communicate them more clearly and work toward meeting them in ways that support growth, connection, and a more fulfilling life.